eL-v 사랑해

2011-05-18T08:42:00.002+08:00

guess nobody blogs nowadays..plainly too bz with their work or studies..or FB have taken over blogger world...haha

nth much said.life still goes on as we grow..
guess i lost it ytd...forgive me...i really had no intention but yet its killing me inside how I really feel..

ignorance, maturity, be the better person, self- control....i cant do it when ur like tat...

ohimissblogging...hahaha...random..=p

2010-07-21T01:44:00.004+08:00

um..its been quite long since i updated tis blog..kinda miss it..haha
many things happen from the time of the previous post till now..

i grad!!!!!! Thank God..i was really really worried tat i cant grad but in the end God gave me a peace of mind saying that I pass...n ya..i pass..haha..
mission trip was great..gain many experience n ya i felt much closer to God n how He was using me n the rest for the mission trip..

so what we did in thailand?
1: Market Outreach

2: Kids Club (Karen Village, Khong Wilai, n a skol)

3: English Teaching
4: Door to door evangelization and prayer walk
5: Village visiting (Khampaeng Phet, Glass Blowing Village)

6: last but not least...makannnn!!
its been a good experience blessing others n being blessed by dem..hopefully will get another opportunity to go for another mission trip...hehe
the team..great job peeps..^^

last week, help Ps Roy to host a team from Korea..was so happy being able to host them.. followed them for their trip to orang asli n orphanage place..camera old d..need to buy new cam!! had to use my fon to take pictures..>.< haha
(will update more...sleep 1st)..haha

2010-05-24T00:36:00.002+08:00

i've been sooo busy right after final exams...its really draining the juice out of me..
but looking forward to everything that God has install for me which I know that it is gonna be BIG...
by Your grace I'm saved and You loved me still the same now and always..Thank You =)

Mission Trip: DO pray for the team as the place we're goin is not tat safe.. thank you..hehe

fear God k..(yea im pointing at u)

happy living my life..hahaha...so much freedom...dere's no evil eyes starring at u watching ur every move n find it very wrong when its not..haha...

IF camp was so much funh...get to berbonding-bonding wif the cyberians more...angel mortal game has alot of trashing...guys are scary...hahaha...Pastor Sandra was awesome, shared about standing up to our faith n etc which inspire me alot n open up my eyes to many things..campus revo Ps David came to tok abt making a difference in the campus..so better do it n not just say it like sum person...i grad d so its making impact in working life..hehe..

ok..short update..gdnite..

2010-05-12T14:35:00.002+08:00

fool me once shame on you
fool me twice still SHAME on u..

into the trash u will go wif ur stuffs...
n dere u will rot!!

2010-05-10T20:28:00.002+08:00

n i have GRADUATE!!! hopefully..hahaha
last paper tis afternoon...it was crap so just praying hard that i'll graduate..=D
3 papers were fine 2 papers were blurgh..so just keep praying..hehe
now i can rot, play,watch all my dramas..weeee...im happy..=D

2010-05-09T00:47:00.002+08:00

Mummy!!!!! Happy Mother's Day!!
I LOVE YOU!!

thanks for being my mum, for going through all the trouble to bear me n elys. i know both of us have been a pain. many buckets of tears have you poured out for us and I am sorry for not understanding why you scold us or beat us. truly you have been a great mother giving us things when daddy doesn't want to give us, taking us places when daddy dowan bring us..haha..but i appreciate you and love you.

(tears starting to roll down my cheek) hahahaha..T.T
but Thank You for being my MUM, mum..love you lots and cherish you always.

2010-05-03T10:26:00.002+08:00

Your Inner Coward

1. You’re quite the eloquent type who always knows the right thing to say
2. And you use this to your advantage
3. You take everything for granted
4. You have a narrow perspective
5. A skewed view on life that’s defective
6. It doesn’t take a detective to see you clearly think this globe spins for you
7. You are not a man but a boy in a big guy body
8. Saying things the opposite of what you do
9. Too insecure to be yourself
10. So you hide and try to control

your just full of lies n deceit..so here's something for you..

You're a jerk, then and today
You're a jerk, for making me feel this way
For then and there, i felt nothing for you
~~But your smiles, your hugs, have me at loss of what to do~~

It kills me that I still ~~can't let you go~~
But now, I ask of you,
Who is this benefiting, who?

Just by a glace, I'm already high,
But all hope dies when you just pass me by
A sliver in the heart, a crack in the sky,
I don't want this, can we just say goodbye?

Is it your intention, to use me like a doll,
Or do you not even notice at all?
Then at that, abide i can no longer do,
I wish I had never know you

You're a jerk, for treachery and deceit,
You're a jerk, the one I will defeat

To you I thought I was seen,
But obviously that was only a wishful dream
Black and white, the world I see,
With not a touch of grey, how could there be?

But as I write this
I'm still doubting
You might never read this
And you'd only think I was being dramatic

Now, even as I bid you adieu,
You will never be gone, ~~in my dreams you will still be in view~~

You're a jerk, if I left, you wouldn't even wonder where I went
You're a jerk, I will never cry over you anymore,
You're a jerk, I will never look your way; I might die

You're a jerk, the one I hate, just look above,
You're a jerk, the one that I do not want to love anymore...

2010-04-25T20:28:00.000+08:00

oh God..pls let me grad!!!! tats all
Amen..

2010-04-23T01:19:00.003+08:00

just came back from my last CG of the academic year and probably my final CG in CF..
its been a wonderful journey wif all of u guys..
getting to know each and every1 of u and to really care for one another.
its been fun being in the same CG as u guys and i wish u guys all the best in everything..
HUGS!!!!!~~

2010-04-22T01:17:00.002+08:00

TOO MUCH I GIVE BUT PAIN I GAIN

Assessing myself as I looked nowhere
Asking myself why I felt tormented
As well as of remorse thinking my fate
Endless acts of giving indeed been laid
A message to convey of your importance…

At times don’t want to think taken for granted
At times I felt it was all just an act from you
Trying to reciprocate my deeds as to repay
Just to pleased the promises only at first
But it was put aside once more until piled…

Courage I’m waiting for me to open-up
Reasons why I start to change of direction
Our friendship we built I want for keeps
But the feeling I have need to extinguish
I can’t imposed my rights for I really don’t have…

The fault is within me for I care too much
I give too much but I found myself hurt
High expectations I regard from your side
Deep within me I knew it is awkward
My thoughts for you now, its time to set it free…

-Fides-

after much thought, i guess, i prefer being like tis, its much breath-able

probably im not ready myself too..i can give but i cant obey...sorry

mayb one day...who noes..when im really confident and able n willingly to follow...=)

2010-04-21T14:37:00.005+08:00

last cf of the academic year and also mine (if i grad..haha)
so...ya...thx for the frenship, for the encouragement and for everything tat u guys had done..
its been a blessing to be part of your life..continue to Fight the good fight, finish the race and always keep the faith...God Bless =)

Forever Friends
you're my friend and that is true,
but the gift was given from me to you.
we went thru moments that were good and bad,
even moments that were happy and sad.
you suported me when i was in tears,
we stuck together when we were in fear,

its really sad that it had to be this way,
but it has reached its very last day.
miles away cant keep us apart,
'cause you'll always be in my heart.

love tis pic..sumthing bout it tat makes it lovely..probably the balloons but its lovely..haha

to my dearies,
thx for being patient wif me all these while
n also teaching me n guiding me alot..
u've been one of the most treasured people in my life
n i thank you for it..
all the best in ur future upcomings
n may the Lord be wif u where ever u go

u'll nvr knew it was important till u loose it

2010-04-20T00:47:00.003+08:00

Loving this song after watching 'When in Rome' enjoy =)

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms of rage are rolling wild and free
Down that highway of regret
The wind of change is blowing wild and free
But you aint seen nothing like me yet

There aint nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the end of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

2010-04-06T00:18:00.003+08:00

yay..new blogskin..the previous wan got screwed up..haha neway..its nice..n simple..me liking it..haha not really sure how to do my own blogskin..oh well...
fyp done..weeeeeeeee im so happy...jsut need to let supervisor to check and can bind n be happy n go shopping n study..=(
sigh..miss the times when im just so carefree..now everything is abt datelines..

been finding for jobs now..but still no reply..nobody wan me...sobs sobs T.T oh well..pray hard hard will be able to find a gd job..heh..

hmm..wat shud i do now...gd nite peeps..hehe

2010-04-05T11:12:00.002+08:00

tears flow from the eyes as i start thinking of a lot of things..
decisions that im scared to make...path that will somehow make me or break me..
at first I was glad but now, Im troubled..what is His plans for me..
Does He allow it? pray hard hard...
will I be able to continue this?

2010-03-08T23:06:00.002+08:00

its school holiday now..for 1 week..
took flight back to pg...its my 2nd time sitting plane in my entire life, the first was when i was very young...the plane was shakey at first but it smoothen out after awhile..i like it..haha

back at home..its not a gd start to the holidays due to sum unforseen circumstances..but seeing my parents im very happy...i miss them very much...n daddy's cooking really lightens me up..wanna look forward to every meal tat he cooks...n guess wat?! daddy bought n97mini...OMG!! its like darn exp n i nvr thot he'll spend tat much on a phone but he did...n im liking the fon.haha..so as usual, i'll just browse thru here n dere trying to learn how to use it..so after getting use to it den i taught my dad how to use it..n he's so happy tat he gave me a kiss....*shy* dad has nvr gave me a kiss on his own will..hahaha its always i kiss him first den i'll ask for return kiss..haha so yea..im very happy..=D

hoping tat this holiday will be a gd one...happy holidays!!

2010-02-08T16:28:00.003+08:00

many times it felt like this, but this time, it felt even worst..
u just dun know how much i want to be near u sharing everything..
i envy those people who are close with each other..
we have different characters that are just too impossible to comprehend..
well, i still remember tho during high school i wrote about you n i get an 'A' for it..
u don't know how much effort i put into it n what feelings did i felt when writing it...
it seem almost impossible to talk to u nowadays..
even your pet gets better treatment from you than i get..
but oh well, life's like this..u just have to sometimes we just have to brush it away n just let go..
someday, things will turn out just right..=)
but for now, i'm just not your better half..

2010-01-07T14:35:00.002+08:00

Do read this..eventho its long but do take time to read it..i cried while reading..=)

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us.

Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree.

You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.

Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round.

As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets.

Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy.

I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her.

For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment:

"I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better."

Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs.

I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure.

Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.

Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."

There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast.

In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife?

At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice.

She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me.

For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room.

Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night.

I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me....

I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"

After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.

During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the ' all important ' task of preparing breakfast without any prompting.

At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife.

To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.

That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me:

"LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?"

He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me.

After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?"

I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat.

I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out..

Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes...

I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house.

Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.

For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.

I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do?

For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life..

Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor."

The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.

Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news.

Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?

At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there..

It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.

He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.

I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.

At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy.

What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down.

Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes.

I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.

That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up.

I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face.

He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house.

Maybe he really intends to leave me for good.

What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters.

I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.

The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby.

I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said:

"Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."

I stood there in shock.

I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away.

Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless.

I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes.

My god, how could this happen?

Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me.

I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people.

That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside.

As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her....

I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....

In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him.

And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe.

I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in.

I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later..

The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other.

I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant.

After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes.

I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.

The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her.

He stared back at me,challenging me.

I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death.

I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.

He did not come home anymore after that.

Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.

I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.

I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination.

My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them " No, I will not.. "

I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room.

The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke.

On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper.

I know what it is all about without even looking at it.

In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself.

I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign."

He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine..

As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry...." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.

After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me..

Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?"

Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops.

I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."

He did not go.

In the dark, we sat, facing each other.

Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket.

In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them.

I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me.

I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't.

In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever.

We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart.

For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional.

I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him.

From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.

Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room.

He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room.

At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet.

This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh.

He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us?

Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read.

Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full.

I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.

He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of Spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment.

He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.

Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite.

Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind:

In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain.

Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling.

I reached out and touched his hand.. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor.

I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his...

I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long.

I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying:

"Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.

Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and

I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:

"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now...

I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be..

But daddy now no longer has that chance.

Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....

Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey.

To be honest, daddy is very happy.

Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most....

" From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby....

My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...

These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma.

I brought our son over and place him beside him.

I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."

He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile.

Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.....

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...

"Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family.

Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late.".......

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is a true story.

LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO GRUDGES. I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger!

Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience.....

This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift.

Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge.

In life, offenses are inevitable.

But holding a grudge is a choice we consciously make. Learn to LET GO....

To forgive others is to forgive YOURSELF. No one's perfect.

Communication is the key. It is never toooooo late to be friends.....

2010-01-02T21:21:00.021+08:00

Merry Christmas n Happy New Year!! sorry for the late shout out..been very lazy to update..haha
neway..quick update..

2nd sem finish...gave a surprise to parents on christmas eve by coming back a day earlier..haha boy dey were so surprise..haha
dad did christmas lunch for his cg n frens...lotsa yummy-licious food..heh

uncle enjoying his food..haha.
to those who luv pork..lotsa fat...

so lets do summary wat happen in 2009...lotsa ups n downs..mostly downs..so hopefully 2010 will be a more happier year for me..*praying praying*

January
CNY...no pics..
mummy bday...

February
oh oh..my bday
first ever birthday cupcake..yummy-licious..
esther lee cg ^^
bsad...

March - April nth much happen...

May..
Seremban road trip wif cg...

finals...
n final year student bai bai...

June..
Final year d....sobs..
moved in with esther siow darling..

internship...
new friendship been made..

freshies..welcome to mmu..juniors that gave so much encouragement when u see them..dey're sho cute...hehe..

new cg...JZ-C.E.L.U.P.

July..
1st time playing paintball..

Bethel Church..

August..
Mlk Camp...

MMU convo

September..
end of internship...sobs..

Paradise Band..

October..
Genting wif Debbie...

Langkawi wif family...

November-December
ACT3 "Run Isaac"
n Merry Christmas..

so guess tats it..memories tat will be treasured...heh..bad things will happen just let it go but keep the sweet memories..=)
gonna grad soon iin few more months..sigh..lets not think bout tat yet..
i'll stop here for now..
till then..bb...=p

2009-12-01T20:55:00.004+08:00

your HEART is just so fragile..
that if just a touch to it will just break it..
its just too fragile that if it is left alone, it will turn to BLACK instead of red.
too fragile tat it should be taken real good care for.
* * *
assignments - 90% done
fyp - 30% done
going to die - 100%
lol-ness...
dreading tis sem..its just too much to handle..
but i guess God pulled me thru to alot of stuff n i thank Him so much..
can't wait for the sem to end..miss my parents..
i guess dad's having his happy time now in India helping out in the Paralympic team..hope he buy sum gd stuff from India..
5 more mths to grad..dunno y m i counting but 5 more months....ahhhh...
no more poodlevina wahahahahhaha....
treasuring most of my life n the things i have too bits..heh
all smiles..=)

2009-11-23T22:24:00.000+08:00

nyum nyum nyum nyum...

2009-11-23T16:03:00.003+08:00

so, someone gaze at me and told me that he'll predict my future..
n tis is wat he said..
"Ur future will be filled with difficulties. Maybe because of the choices i made and also my feelings towards that choices"

it struck me tho..eventho he said it jokingly or seriously but it struck me..as i noe im dealing with it now..
its kind of hard to make the right choices when it comes down to the most important thing in your life..
then again, no matter what we do still have to make choices..n one of the thing tat im assured as i make choices is that God will always be with me.. leading me. n i thank friends that walk with me thru it all too..=)
to be able to breath the air from the ocean and also to see smiling faces and little things that make me laugh..im happy

the person that i know,is no longer there
gone totally but yet i still care
deep down i know your still somewhere inside
come out of your hiding place and run into the loving arms that loves you

Be still, My child, and know that I am God!
Wait thou patiently - I know the path you trod
So falter not, nor fear, nor think to run and hide
For I, thy hope and strength, am waiting by thy side - Hein

2009-11-21T21:52:00.001+08:00

things left unsaid,
questions left unanswered,
just close your eyes and pray,
and God will open up your blinded eye.

2009-11-13T19:54:00.004+08:00

FYP FYP FYP FYP..
stress...well, its wat all final yr students face..
sigh...3 more weeks to dateline? or 4 more weeks? hmm..
sooo wanna take a break..but no..kenot..must study..
last few sems of my uni lifeee...noooooo
wanna go holiday....mummy daddy lets go Bali...heh
i wan to see beautiful clear blue sky n beautiful clear blue sea....

2009-10-31T08:57:00.003+08:00

im feeling so stressed out...
1st week to class n assignments have been given out..
im feeling the stress-ness...plus fyp also...sigh...
just feel like goin back industrial training..at least u get scolding ni..hahaha

missing my parents..hope dey're healthy..=D
sigh..dreading tis new sem...
T.T

still thinking wat shud i do
hopefully it'll be for the best

2009-10-11T20:45:00.006+08:00

abandon blog..haha

back in pg d..after trip to Genting wif Bie n elys..
a relaxing holiday after 4months of working.. it was on promotion for MATTA fair for only rm55..so we just bought without thinking too much..hehe
its great to be back after 10mths of not being in Pg..keke
the land where the P's reign..hahah

pics of Genting..
stayed in First World Hotel
some or most of the rides..din sit all tho..wonder y..haha..

pics of us having fun..weee..

the must have camwhore pic..ahaha

went for Herbal Sauna in the evening just now n ate home cook food after so long..yummylicious..haha
loving it so far..kinda different from wat i use to think mainland is how..heh its alrite tho..haha
going holiday tis weekend..weee..
more stuff to tell i hope..haha

2009-09-06T14:51:00.002+08:00

time ticks
days past
soon u noe
ur gonna leave everything behind
or mayb u'll choose to stay
where i go
all in Your hands
lead me Oh Lord
i'm afraid i'll take the wrong road
sigh~

2009-08-03T21:59:00.006+08:00

it was a crazy week tho..started on thurs..rush from work to Renaissance Hotel to watch the Lisbon Chamber Choir perform..dey're gd..dey sang songs from Phantom of the Opera..i still prefer the original..hehe..neway few pics..:P

the ppl tat went..heh
so tat was thurs nite..

sat after work went to play paintball..yippee...nvr played b4.. at 1st was calm den when wanna play get all nervous n tense..haha..after 10 sec die d..sien..
pics..hehe..the pros are playing..hehe
den at nite went to Bethel Church..took over the service.. ai prepared a skit..funny pics inside my facebook..hehe
the team..
sun..after church went to McQuek Satay Celup (i think tats the name) hehe..ate thai food..yummylicious..n we celebrated Jason Leong's be-early bday..

oh oh..tis is sumthing different..colorless tom yum..

so tats my weekend..oh yea..tried watching movie alone..not tat bad afterall..=)

We must 1st,
learn to let go of what was and then,
look at what is and can be..
transitions..

i'll be strong..i noe i will..
hopefully..=)

2009-07-20T20:58:00.003+08:00

tis is what happens when u n ur hsemate have too much free time n got nth to do....
wif a dog...
meet Timmy..
owner: Elysia Tiun..
age: 3 years old...
species: Maltese

cute rite?? look at his body...see sumthing dere?

lets get closer...
hmm seem like sumthing is sticking on his body..

oh look..a Shokobutsu Value Shower Pack is sticking on his body..for Rm14.50...
ngek ngek ngek...hahahhahaha...poor Timmy..=p

2009-06-24T21:44:00.005+08:00

other then sumtimes sitting around staring at computer or ppl, its actually quite fun doin my intern... the colleagues r damn funny, sumtimes they crack jokes till can fall from chair.. im under accounts department which is my greatest fear (well actually not greatest but sumhow rather dere lah)...i hate accounts..really dun like it..but den my job was just to file, photostat, chop, run here n dere, collect stuff, separate stuff all those sort..tiring tho but still ok lah..ahha
n sumtimes i do help out in the admin dep..which i sumtimes run dere to get out from all the heavy work in acc..haha..the kakak who's working dere she's really very frenly..can get free food tho..weee..its kinda hard working in a shopping mall...y? coz dere's all those temptations to shopp..huu..nooooo..i've spend like so much now adays..sigh..have to eat home cook food d... but neway its coming to 1 mth d..another 3 mths to go...n can start bumming arnd for 1 mth..weeeee..haha.. so have fun studying n working y'all ppl..=) last sat we had potbless at our new home..wee..n oh daddyyy i cooked ur dish..not as sharp the taste as yours but still..i made it..yipee..proud to be ur daughter!! hahaa...i'll learn more from u nah..hehe...no pics for that day but tis wat i made..haha bought the stuff at Mydin..got like a huge trolley wif stuff inside n it earn Malaysia Book of Records..hahahaha..buy stuff at mydin..i think dey're cheap (dun really check price when go grocery shopping)...haha walaaa.. my macaroni pasta..haha enjoy the rest of the days n tomolo is CG..wee cant wait..ahhaha

sweet secrets~

2009-06-07T21:04:00.003+08:00

been leaving tis blog for abt 2 months...wahahaha...lazy wanna blog d..
no inspiration..n sumtimes things r just too too personal or hard to tell here..oh well..haha

neway..finish final exam d...weeehee..hopefully can pass wif flying colours *fingers cross* n can cont study..omg im in my final year d...so fast...n i still can remember wat i did when i 1st came to mmu and cf...sigh...time really do past by so fast..so much memories been made...treasuring every piece of dem..haha..

so finish finals..wats next? industrial traininggggggggggg..after few mths of finding for a place to work...so here is it..1st June 2009, me start me internship at Dataran Pahlawan..the main office lah which is called Hattan Square..haha..
its very nice n confortable working dere..ppl are all young young..just a few of mid year age ppl..hha..willing to help teach n explain things i dun understand..heh..

neway..1st day of work i was given tis papers to check whether tally or not the accounts..oh ya..dey put me in accounts department..haha.. i have no table, but just a temporary table near the door..(no foto..will take one soon) supervisor very nice..for now...maybe ppl will be ncie for now..haha...hope i wont be so sleepy/blur till i screw up everything which i did sum but lucky dey din get angry coz it was just minor..hahaha..oh well..silly me...>.<>nice nice? i think i look better in short hair..neater..haha...

neway go sleep d..nite nite..haha..signing out~

2009-04-05T23:04:00.001+08:00

just for laughs..enjoy =)

man
1.. ------------
board

Ans. = man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

stand
2. ------------
i

Ans. = I understand

OK . .

Got the drift ?

Let's try a few now and see

how you fare ?

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

4. r
road
a
d

Ans. = cross roads

Not having a good day now, are you ?

Redeem yourself.

5. cycle
cycle
cycle

Ans. = tricycle

Easy to figure out, ha!

0
6. ------------
M.D.
Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

C'mon give it a little thought ! !

knee
7. ------------
light

Ans. = neon light

( knee - on - light )

I'm sure you'll have not problem getting this one.

= ground
8. ---------------------------
feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

Good One, try this!!

9. he's X himself

Ans. = he's by himself

Here's an easy one!!

10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

Not even close ?!!?

11. death ...... life

Ans. = life after death

Okay last chance ...................

12. THINK

Ans. = think big ! !

And the last one is very fun- - -

13. abababababababababababababab....

Ans.. = long time no 'C'

2009-03-19T18:18:00.002+08:00

mayb sum things are better of not said den things will be so much better..
if only i'd listen..
but i guess certain things always has it right time..
waiting for me to..hmm..u noe...haha..i oso dunno..=p
but neway..just praying things will actually turn out fine again..hahha
been so stressful these few days..
asg n exams..

2 down...8am-10am den 10am- 12pm..u noe how stressful n how tired my brain is?? haha..

btw..got placing d..yayness..thx to ppl tat help...m blessed..^^
hope can learn alot n the colleagues are nice ppl..

loving tis song..dunno y..sounds nice..haha..hear it..

2009-03-09T11:25:00.005+08:00

very long din update d..haha.neway a few weeks ago i celebrated my 21st bday..21st siut..me old d...wahahha..the previous nite had a surprised bday..thx to all those who came...^^
so my bday..in the morning till evening, din do nething coz class n tut whole day..sien..really drain my mood to celebrate..haha..but thx to cg my mood was weeee~
so tis is wat we did...cg leader ask to suggest a place to makan so i suggested tis place..Kokiya
sum japanese food at Gajah Berang...famous for the pancake i think..so we went dere..
ordered food..
glorious food..haha
cg members..thx guys..
thx esther lee for the cupcakes..very yummy-fying..hehehe..n oh we celebrated jia tsing's bday coz he's bday is 2 days after mine..so yea...hahaha

thx to the ppl who celebrated wif us, gave us presents n free treat..hehe..^^

n to my dearest twin sister Elys...i pray u'll cont to grow wiser n mature n keep Him close to u..tho there may be good times n hard times, i hope u'll stay strong n noe tat He n me will always be dere for u..sorry n thx for everything tat u have done for me throughout the years we've been together..love u lots n Happy 21st Birthday..=)

* * *
on the other note..tis month is gonna be super busy wif asg due date n mid terms thru out the month..so all the best!! wahaha...

look a cat sleeping weirdly...=D
God Bless..

2009-02-25T09:24:00.001+08:00

undecided....

2009-02-18T11:07:00.003+08:00

one night, 3 girls were dead bored at home...
so girl A said "Come lets go out" so the other 2 agreed n went out..
when dey got into the car, dey had no idea where to go..
after much thot.."lets go eat quack quack mee" haha
so the rest said "ok"
so dey went...upon reaching the place sumthing caught their eye..n dey were amazed by it n wanted to go near it..but girl B said "eat 1st!! Baeguppa (hungry)!!"
so dey went to eat 1st...after finish eat the quack quack mee n sum ice n sweet stuff all 3 girls were full n satisified..so dey hurry up to pay n went to the thing tat caught their eye..but sumhow dey r afraid to go inside..bcoz if got ppl recognise dem den ma cham..
however girl B drag the 2 of dem n force dem to go inside...so dey went.....n boy it was funhhhhh..hahahahahaha...

after riding the merry go round, next stop was jonker...was too pack..wanted to leave fast fast...haha..after tat was Frens cafe...sat dere till 12 am..den suddenly..a bouquet of flowers wif a cake was seen coming up to the 2nd floor of the cafe wif a lift...den a waiter took it n walk to the end table n gave the gf of the guy...how sweet..hahahaha =.="

neway..nth special coming up i guess.... except....dunno lah...bb..haha

2009-02-11T20:25:00.002+08:00

hmmm.....cute..haha

2009-02-09T19:17:00.000+08:00

everybody..say hiii to fishyyyy
"Hi Fishyyyyy!!"
lol

2009-01-19T22:25:00.009+08:00

sorry for the late updates..haha.. back home in penang d...went out to meet wif frens n shop shop shop..weee..heres sum pics..hehe
so mums bday on the 16th.. was at island tat day wif sisters while mum works n dad go kl...after whole day of shopping we daughters did a surprise bday celebration for mum n boy was she surprise! haha..heres how my mum looks like..her hair abit messy coz work too hard but aint she cute? haha..luv ya muackx..
Goldie..my gd fren during high skol time..hehe..same hairstyle wif elys wan..hha
sisters pic in Gurney Plaza toilet

meet up wif my gang..but not all were dere..got 1 tersesat at KL dunno when coming back..haha..so we met up n went to eat steambot..din noe dey do tat coz thot dey eat at home wan..wakaka..so here r sum pics..
clockwise: gwen n chiew, ah hao enjoying his food, boon n chiew eating their ice cream, dunno wats the food name tat look like fish, n got a smiley star too hehe...dump dump everything into the soup n become steambot...=.=" n boon cooking..

eventually one of dem found a new way of eating ice cream wif cone..u just break the cone n stir inside the ice cream...wahahaha
after steambot is movie time..watch 'All About Women'..the most lousiest, wasting money n time punya movie..doesnt make ne sense at all..haha

lets do a story here..haha..on a beautiful island live 2 guys who love each other very much..
however, on the island live many pretty girls tat wan to take pics wif dem..
but dey still love each other despite all the attention from those pretty girls..
happily loving each other...boonchiew..wakakaka i can hear crows crowing d...lame i noe..haha..=p
the gang..heh i look kinda old here tho..wakaka
oh one night while staying on the island, we went to the beach..hehe..
i look tall..
heh..saranghae..=p
slippar n footprint..
on the day suppose to go back mainland, went out wif my uncle 1st..he chia us sakae sushi..yum yum..1st time eating dere..hehe..ty ah ku..^^
ok blog too long d..lazy liao..but b4 tat, here is sum sampat pics..keke
adios ppl..Happy Chinese New Year!!

2009-01-13T23:47:00.006+08:00

got tis for christmas present...quite cool tho..its a growing pet..have to put in water n it'll grow..so here's the process..1stly put the egg into a pail of water den it'll grow lor..

after 2 days
after 3-4 days
after 5 days
after 6-7 days..
haha i noe it is freaky but its kinda cool tho to see it growing..its a rabbit btw..haha...i wan more of tis..wee..

* * *
next up joash farewell party at The Nest..joash doin is thing..
wayne, esther n PG165 singing to joash..crowd being entertain..hehe..
so tats all..
farewell joash~

* * *
hehe..me kaypo at comm planning..wanna release stress n rest..it was fun tho..played games n read comic while waiting for dem to finish their meeting..at nite go walk walk arnd
nice room wif comfy bed..but the pillow can sink wan..haha
coolss..
the comms 08/09..^^
hot photographer (perasan)..weee~

ok tats all..start holidays d..back at home wee so nice..home cook food n heater n air con..haha...CNY ocming d so come come ang pao's haha..happy holidays peeps..rest well n take care..^_^v

Randomness~

2009-01-02T10:36:00.007+08:00

its new year...
n how do we celebrate it?
start wif sum randomness..
dinner at bunga raya..fat mee wif iforgetwatsthefoodname d..haha

n the most random...haha
ever tried picnic-ing at here??

well, tats wat we did...weeeee~ total randomness...haha
its carbonated juice not wine k..dun think otherwise..haha

so yea..tats how we spend our 1st day of the year...i love randomness...hahaha

May tis year be a year full of rejoice n smiles...=D

ok go study...wosh~

time and season

2009-01-01T11:05:00.008+08:00

2008....
dun really like it..dun wanna mention y..
just praying hard tat 2009 will be a much better year for me...=)

Happy New Year ppl!~

dun wanna dream anymore~

2008-12-28T22:11:00.005+08:00

my mood...
^ happy
l
l
l
l neutral
l
l
l
v sad

dang..dunno wat to blog now adays..sigh...christmas over..new year coming..the year of 2009.. wishing tat it'll be a so much better year for me *cross fingers* =D..

* * *
on the other note..been goin out like mad tis week..went to mp dp on x'mas eve n christmas n at nite to portugese settlement on x'mas..see pwetty pwetty lights..heh...its jsut so nice..heh
at ai's open hse x'mas party...wearing hairband tat got lights..haha
the girls n boys tat spend x'mas in mlk..haha
lightings...hehe

k tats all for now...Merry Christmas n Happy New Year 2009..

looking at you
and my heart loves the view~

2008-12-19T15:59:00.007+08:00

it was fun working wif u guys...=) miss aCt lots..heh..
* * *
so wat do you plan to do when ur parents come down? take dem for food of coz, n some boat ride (again)..n wat happens when u have no where else to go?
karaoke wud be a gd place..wudnt it? haha (actually suppose to bring dem walk at the jetty but end up doin tis)
chinese oso dun even noe how to sing n yet we're singing korean song...woohoo..
it was fun..playing old skol songs n modern songs so every1 can sing together..but kena conned like crazy but oh well, it was fun =)
* * *
christmas is coming.. the mood for christmas is starting to creep into me..oh goodness christmas shopping havent done yet...omg omg omg..haha..will be doin it soon so every1 wait for ya prezzies..haha
* * *
cg ytd was fun..n meaningful too...went to satay celup den went to jj to buy sum presents n later on will exchange among cg members..

exchanging presents, n appreciating cg members..i got a sparkling juice...woohoooo....dilemma dunno when wanna open..hahaha...
my first time at MBMB..wee..jakun siut..haha it was lovely dere..
me..=)

my Christmas wishlist:-
1. a small Bible..small n pretty/cute hehe
2. a study Bible
3. anything will do...oh ya...shoes n clothes is very much welcome..hehe..=P

have a Blessed n Joyful Christmas everyone..

2008-12-16T00:37:00.005+08:00

2mths of prac finish in just 2 hours..may seeds be planted n may it grow fruitfully...TGBTG
shih wen..ty for makeup-ing me tat nite..very nice..hehe..luv u...hugs..
escape to Seremban to just clear the mind n enjoy a musical play held by Jess church...weee =)

will update more..too lazy d..

next up:-
mid terms, assigment n christmas shopping.....GG-ness..haha

choices
they all have consequences
be it good or bad..

2008-12-09T00:34:00.002+08:00

hey ppl...ACT is 2day!!
do come yea..
MAIN HALL
7.30PM
u guys wont wanna miss it
its gonna be a blast..
early birds get door gifts =)
so see u guys dere aits!!!

2008-12-03T15:01:00.005+08:00

sum lines which i find it quite romantic...hehe...

"I don't have the Strength to stay away from you anymore"

"I'm not afraid of you. I'm only afraid of losing you."

"You're scent is like drug to me. My own personal brand of heroin"...er.....ok....=.= hahah

"I will do whatever it takes to keep you save again" =)

"You don't know how long i've waited for you"..kinda like a vampire waiting for its soulmate for many many years..hahah

"So, the Lion have fallen in love with the Lamb"...well, u said tat if you're a vampire lah...hahaha

these lines are taken from my now favorite movie 'Twilight'..
the movie is from a book which is a sequal book, 4 books.. the movie is very interesting...but sum ppl dun like coz its too fast but dun care still nice..haha.. the whole family oso all good looking..:P go watch it k..haha...

2008-11-29T13:09:00.002+08:00

last week cg we cooking cooking..hehe lotsa food we cook n here's sum pics to tempt u guys..hahahaha
the spagetthi sos..got crabstick, vege n dunno wat else haha..esther cook wan..den the salad, got carrot, corns, pepsicurn, tomato n other healthy veges..haha..n here's the spaggethi all ready made when we got there, n the fried wedges..hehe
here's the ppl...sum waiting to eat, sum r busy cooking n sum r too free taking fotos..

din take the after math of eating but everyone was too full n there were leftovers spagetthi so we, being the generous cg gave sum of our spaggethi to the hungry ppl in anna's cg...wahaha..:P

tis week's cg we did sumthing out of the ordinary...went to DP to do our bible study..ate at Pizza Hut 1st den head to the field at DP..finding for a place where it is bright enuff n we found the tiang bendera's of all the 14 states in M'sia..kekeke
David opening us wif sum songs n esther leading us in bible study..
k everyone..take out all ur colourful pencils n pens n scribble scribble..
while waiting for the others...emoing...=.=
shadow pics..hehe..guess who is who..hehe...winkx*

okies..dere's all for now...back to studying..have a wonderful day ppl n study hard n ACT is coming....weeeeee~~~~~~

2008-11-25T18:37:00.006+08:00

RULES:

1. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

2. Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be? take revenge?
Depends..but i wont take revenge coz its not in my hands to take..

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
for a perfect life..but i guess tats impossible..hehe

3. What is the criteria for your dream lover?
Caring n loving

4. Do you think that the importance of excelling in studies is over-rated? Do grades guarantee success? OR is good grades a must in the competitive society that we are currently living in?
It's over-rated..grades guarantee in getting 1st place in work i think..but i prefer GK more.. n we r living in a competitive society..but just do my best ni lah..

5. If you have kids (now or in the future) would you say that your kids are an investment or a responsibility or an asset?
erm..forget my accounts d haha..but i think its all...u own ur kids, n ur taking responsibility over dem n ur investing in dem hoping tat u'll earn sumthing gd out of it..haha

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
both..to love n be love in return

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
if its true love..for a lifetime

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
hmm..i dun usually like a person tat is already attached..haha...so just wish dem well kua..

9. Do you think the world would be better off if everyone has the same religion/ethnicity/ etc?
Probably.

10. You see a 50 year old man entwine arms with a girl about the age of 20+ and find out they are gf/bf. What are your first thoughts?
@.@ *faints*

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
married/having a job/being a hsewife/probably a mother d....hahahhaah

12. What's your fear?
Being left alone.

13. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
Look at the time

14. Would you give all in a relationship?
yea

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
neither...coz either one is love n the other is crush/infatuation..so have to get feelings straight 1st b4 falling..hahaha

16. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
I, guess so..

17.Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
Both

18. If you had a terrible past would you still dwell it in and blame the world for what they have done to you or get over it?
dwell for a few days/weeks den get over it n continue wif life...haha

gonna tag..
1.Aiai
2. Cp
3.Reen
4. Esther Siow
5. anyone
6. anyone
=p

2008-11-20T23:09:00.002+08:00

haha..likey tis fon...but dunno good or not..few months d since it came out.. price not sure but mayb RM700 i think...i like the blue wan..its soo nice..hehe..LG fon, korean fon..weee~~ but if buy den dad sure angry coz waste money..oh well...i'll just be happy wif my fon lah..kekeke..

wan noe more bout it? go check it out..hehe

2008-11-06T21:18:00.002+08:00

my holidaysss
good home cook food
frens for years
kl wif deb
will update more soon i guess..photoshop not working...sien..haha

2008-10-24T13:05:00.009+08:00

back in penang d...yayness
finish final exams n just had melaka camp..
awesome camp..was held at Cameron Highlands..cold cold place n it was raining most of the time..
but it was ok..still walk under the rain tho..hehe..neway lets see sum pics lah..heh
one of the station games.. roman soldier vs super tepanyaki chef..lol
my guardian angel..thx for the strawberry keychain, strawberry cheesecake and heart shape ringgit..=)
my mortal..hehe...
ppl..
the comms of melaka camp 2008..gd job done
the girls and guys..
final year students...
soon to be final year..haha
my group..thx for being such a good members..^_^
learned a lot during camp bout how to be Instruments for Him..faithfulness, servanthood, and being submissive.. new experience oso as i get to be the group leader n for the 1st time gt to worship lead..it was nerve racking but it was cool..heh..
me and flower
pwetty white flower..hehe
do forgive the eye bags..not enuff sleep n cried alot..hehehe

tats all..will update more later if got lah..hehe..signing out..ciaozz..~

2008-10-15T09:52:00.003+08:00

y do ppl have to pretend, just to fit in?
y do ppl have to put on a mask, just to be accepted by the crowd?
y do ppl who r trying to open up, r being condemn at how they r doing?
y do ppl hold some ppl from 'coming back'?
i guess sum ppl see it from far rather than being near or being in tat position..
while we're judging others, there's others who are judging us..
y cant we just see the better part in someone n accept who they are n what they are..
i guess we just never see it..
to love someone, is to love unconditionally..not half heart-ed..there is no such kind of love..
as how He have loved us for being imperfect, we ought to love them too..
but i guess, we're just merely humans..
however, in the end of the day..we'll be judge too..
=)

2008-10-14T22:25:00.001+08:00

If the world is a much better place to live in,
i'll give mine to u
so tat u'll have double joy n happiness..
=)

2008-10-14T20:27:00.003+08:00

after a week of exams, its break for sum of us.. on fri after super hard paper, went to town eat duck mee wif Bie n Elys..super stress we ate quite alot..haha coz it is such a stressful day..paper was hard n everything was just..argh..

Debbie's chlorophyll drink..haha..

i

dunno

wat

to

write...=.=

oh sushi ytd was funh..haha..unagi n ebi ten..within 3 seconds finish d..better rush b4 its gone..haha..=p

* * *
i guess no matter how imperfect a person is He still loves us..=)

* * *
u said u just want me to be happy, cant u see that i am now?

2008-10-07T21:34:00.002+08:00

n so here it comes again.. FINAL EXAM..
as a student, we'll never be able to run from it..
except when u kena accident, or go hospital..but u still have to sit for it sooner or later..
but mayb when u die..but choi lah...hahah
so 1 down 5 more to go..
1st paper was so so..jsut hope can score..hehe
im being so lazy to study..
all tough subj..but to sum other dey say is easy..swt
can i have ur brain den?
just gonna push myself for tis whole 2 weeks den its camp, home, n ACT..haha

gambateh ya ppl...haik hoo~

never felt like tis for so long
You are just so amazing to me

2008-10-01T10:29:00.004+08:00

so, i had a dream tat i went back to form 3 after finishing my form 5 or maybe halfway in uni..haha
i oso dunno y i went back to form 3..
but all form 5 or uni students went back to form 3 lor...
maybe to try out the new syllabus..
funny how we have to mix wif the juniors n try to do the assignment wif dem..lol
oso have to sit for PMR but lucky the timeline of the dream din go till dere..haha
but i guess its nice tho to go back to high skol..miss those times..heh

dreams...they are just so weird...
but probably sum of dem have a meaning to it??

* * *
on the other note..after few days of stress from 'studying'..4 girls n 1 guy decided to hang out to release stress..haha..
so we went to the harbor..on the way can see pwetty pwetty lights n a big building..
to get to the end of the harbor can either walk or sit the buggy..
jsut for experience we sat the buggy lor..
after hanging out at the end of the harbor for few mins, wanted to chao d coz it was too windy n feel like gonna be blown of by the wind soon..haha..

so we went back..instead of sitting the buggy we decided to walk...
n along the way, we came to a few cubicles..haha.. so tis is wat happen..

omg..haha4 girls
n a guy..emo juju..kaka
after the harbor thingy we went to Xuan Cafe to grab a drink..the cafe can request song wan..ask the singer to sing..hehe..we ask dem to sing 'Ilhamku' and 'When You Say Nth at All'..hehe..not bad tho..but sound system...so..=.=
haha
elys new hairstyle..hehe
the singers..hehe
it was raining quite bad on the way home..all in all it was a gd hang out..hehe..release stress..

2008-09-24T11:34:00.001+08:00

new song from Wonder Girls...hehe..love tis song, the mv so funny too...hahaha =p

2008-09-23T10:32:00.002+08:00

decisions, decisions, decisions..
so hard to make..
shud i decide tis? or shud i decide tat?
wat if i choose tis? wat will happen?
or wat if i choose tat? wat will happen?
wat if its the wrong choice? can i turn back? dun think so..
will it be ok? wat if it don't?
well, i guess i just have to try my best...

* * *
after a weekend of hanging out, its time to be ready to face it....
finalss...@.@
always the pain...the thing tat a student have to face..
well..just hope for the best n dun fail ya...must..not...fail....keke..

2008-09-19T14:30:00.003+08:00

last cg of the sem...steambot!!~~ yayness..hehe eat till so full..haha..=p
so here's sum pic..din take much tho..n sorry if blur..hehe
food..food....glorious food..haha
sharing while waiting for the food to be cooked..happy ppl enjoying the food n fellowship..
food's cooked..
last meal of the day..yee mee wif egg..hehe

we oso had popiah and syrup(indonesia style), which fanny made it herself..very delicious..all in all, last cg of the sem was fun..thx guys for remembering to buy me crapstick..heh..see u guys next sem..cheers~

2008-09-14T22:38:00.002+08:00

so who wans a retractable clothes hanger?
spec:-
- auto retractable
- rain sensor
- remote control (havent draw finish)
- timer to retract the hanger back

advantages:-
- its for lazy ppl...haha
-went ur not at home, u can set time so tat the hanger will retract itself back
-when raining nonit to go out collect clothes n get wet
-n if lazy wanna go press the button to pull the hanger out can use remote control...

so..who wans??
not in the market yet tho...ahhha...
but dun steal k..its copy righted...hehe..=P

2008-09-13T21:16:00.009+08:00

went shoppinggggg...yayness...spend like so much dere...bought lotsa stuff..haha... ate at Sibaraku which i guess not worth it coz we, girls cant eat buffet as we will waste money ni..but dun care just go eat lah...haha
tis is our food..which is just 2/8..imagine 2/8 ni k..dere's still like 6 more portions to go..n we're like bloated...so we ask to cut off the food...haha...so full till wan puke..lol
tis is one of our chef...he look like korean..kaka..
esther n reen
me n elys
esther dear n me..wif cute pink hairband
us...wif cute pink hairband too...well, its been a long time tho...=)
keke..
am i? am i? hahhaa..luv tis...=p
my heart...it beats..

2008-09-12T18:33:00.002+08:00

Colossians 3 : 1-2
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Deut 18 : 9
When you come into the land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations.

=)

2008-09-11T14:51:00.003+08:00

k..
so ib week had long gone..history..
but on tues we had post mortem..
so dere were apologies here n dere n sum things to settle..
but the worst part was the marking system..
where our high-comm said tat our lec said we cud only get 73% out of 100%..so called lah..
so sum ppl weren't happy n all..
for me of coz i wasnt happy but i noe i deserve tat marks coz everything was a screw up n i guess we deserve it lor..
but the next day, dere's tis guy brought up the issue to our lec, n he flip..
lol..calling the high comms idiot n stuff...n he was quite angry n he said tat he's hurt wif wat happen
n he said tat bcoz of our batch, IB now is a laughing stock to every1 n sum said tat IB might be scrapped of n not be offered...sigh..
thinking back if i was the lec it does hurt lor...he's been working hard for Ib n now the standard has badly drop...
but tats not my point lah...
bcoz of the guy complaining he wasnt happy bout the marking system, our lec he said he'll give us the 40% but if we pass during final or not he wants to see how we do..sumthing bout the heart..he wans to see our sincerity..whether we r willing to learn or did we learn sumthing out of tis event..man...i guess we're gone..haha
so i have 40% in my hand but i feel not worth it...sigh...nvm lah..as long can pass..dowan go thru all tis nonsense d...

on the other hand..cant wait for ACT2 to come out..yipeeness...haha

2008-09-08T18:43:00.005+08:00

being able to break free from tis cage,
nvr did i realise tat dere are alot of things tat i missed out..
shutting myself out was wrong...
im glad tat it all ends here eventho it ends not the way i wanted but im happy it did..
at least being free is much more happier than being locked up in a cage..
tho it will follow me till i dunno when but im praying tat one day it will just stop..
soon, light will shine brightly over darkness and i'll be able to smile once again..

ppl come n go, im happy tat im able to smile at u genuinely...
a new life..a new me..~

2008-08-31T22:13:00.004+08:00

lol..
been so busy for the past few weeks..
IB week is over...yeah....so cant wait for it to finish..
its just been a very stressful n tiring n taking a lot of time event...gosh...lol
luckily its done n over but just left the post mortem n maybe report oso..
there's been argument n cries here n dere...
mayb the comm managed to solve the major prob but not the minor so the minor turn into a major prob...well..lets see how it goes...=p
so i was in charge of the exhibition walkway part...well, i guess my exhibition division made the most chaos thru out tis whole week... started of asst director telling bout how bad the grammar and display the exhibition was...so my ppl explain yada yada n it turned out into n argument.. which im not siding ne1 coz it looks like both party is at fault...so yada yada in the end every1 said sorry but i doubt tats the ending...wakaka... btw the pic on top is the new exhibition display..took 3-4 hours to make a new wan..lol...wat a disaster..talk by our lecturer's fren on the 1st nite.. had good attendance n my lec was happy...but the next day his talk n forum attendance was bad..lec wasn't happy in the end, din turn up for IB night...=.=..
all in all, i feel tat tis event could have been successful if we look at it thru many various part.. but i guess us, high comm focus more on the major things den the minor..=) just my opinion...

last 2 weeks had cyberp...it wasn't wat i expected...it was cool n fun..
how u promote n drag ppl to ur stall...ppl which is mainly ur frens lah..thank you to those who bought our drinks n homemade popcorn from "Ice Cube' shop..
haha...got a lot of profit i guess...yay..got more money to shop...wahaha...
din take pic tho but got 1lah..took it from fefe..haha..
i look fat...

soo..tats all my updates for now...im sick n its very argh...feel like chopping off my head coz of the soar throat pain n headache....

2008-08-06T13:35:00.004+08:00

holidays started like a few days ago...
n it started by goin up to Genting Highland for MTV Asia Awards..

shall not tok much bout it but can go to Elys blog to see pics n stuff..
im just plain lazy..
super junior n leona lewis did very well on their performance..congrats on winning the awards..heh

being able to meet wif artist upclose was like.."woah" haha
n guess wat..click 5 leader was just walking behind me n he said hi...hahaha....it was so weird coz i didnt noe it was him..haha..but overall MAA was good..eheh..had a blast..

back at home i get to eat good food again...always look forward to home...dad cook pasta, mum cook tom yum, astro, air con, heater....its so nice to be at home...if can, i dowan to go back mlk... so many things i just dowan to face...ya, can say i wanna run away but obviously i noe i cant.. i just have to take up the courage n be strong n face wif it...

just sum words or poem i came upon while doin devotion =D

Do you fear the gathring clouds of sorrow?
Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus;
Are you anxious what shall be tomorrow?
Tell it to Jesus alone - Rankin

2008-08-05T22:08:00.000+08:00

2008-07-21T14:52:00.003+08:00

alot things happening now a days..
done wif MSK...gd job guys...haha..sorry say now ni..hehe
here's the freshies n the seniors sketch..hehe
freshies
seniors..^_^
erm..IB event leh...start to see the progress d..
eventually sumthing happen tis morning during class....
quite shock..but ok lah....hopefully a better progress..

40 days fast & prayer starting..
cant wait for the launch..
dance dance dance..wanna dance whole heart out for His glory..
prayer is wonderful...brings peace in the heart...
hopefully.......
i dunno...
im just hoping n trusting Him....=D

2008-07-21T14:45:00.003+08:00

NAIL IN THE FENCE

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.
His Father gave him a bag of nails
and told him that every time he lost his temper,
he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had
driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger,
the number of nails hammered daily
gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to
drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the
boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally
able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the
holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.
When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.
It won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry', the wound is still there.
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share words of praise
and they always want to open their hearts to us.'

2008-07-10T18:18:00.004+08:00

i

am

stress..

not really...

but sigh....just hope everything goes well...challenge myself by taking the post....will have to do it confidently...yes...hehe...

2008-07-08T00:49:00.004+08:00

had few days of wonderful time with frens..
hanging out chit chatting n do girl girl stuff..hehe
went to eat sushi wif esther too...ate till so bloated..kaka
so far...everything is goin well i hope so..
tho theres ups n a lot of downs...but still coming strong...=)
assignment r starting to pile..starting to feel the tense-ness d...
parents will be down again tis weekend...happiness...haha
miss dem lots..hehe
btw..just wan post a shout out to.....
Debbie dear...happy 21st bday...
as u grow a year older, i pray tat u oso will grow a year wiser, hotter, n stronger n may ur walk wif Him be strengthen each n everyday of ur life...thx for the times spend hanging out, doin nonsense stuff, for all the advice, n the teachings...thx for everything..luv u lots deb...hugss...hehe

wan sleep d..signing outz...chaoz..~

n dey say ignorance is bliss

2008-06-30T16:22:00.009+08:00

1st meeting of cg...still in esther's cg..but its esther lee.....
went to satay celup...yumyum..din really like eating satay celup coz its expensive n not fulling...
but oh well....went dere...n eat eat...tasted tis wan tan n i really liked it..so keep eating wan tan ni..haha
cg members.. edmund cheong, jia tsing, rebecca, esther lee (leader), joanne, mua, wayne, david n sum other ppl tat nvr come..hehe..
wayne counting his sticks...n David drank 3 cups of water...wow..hahah

hopefully in the upcoming cg's we'll be able to be closer n have lotsa fun while learning more bout Him...=)

* * *
next is melaka tour..
esther dear...hugzz..jon sampat...kaka

1st stop was Zoo melaka...here's a few pics...lazy wan put all coz last time put d...haha...some animals nvr seen b4 oso..n got a very huge huge huge cow...so big....so scary...hahaha

lucius looks like the horse..n jaja looks like the bird...kaka...n the guys found sumthing 'interesting'...tongkat ali...haha

after zoo went to jonker..have lunch at chicken rice ball..brought the alphas coz nvr eaten it b4.. after tat go eat the famous cendol den go walk walk n shopping at DP... sorry no pics..haha...

den went to kundur i think to eat ayam golek..hang out at the beach 1st
nice scenery to chill, lepak, fellowship n....heh...
ships...

last stop was boat ride..lazy wan post pic coz post b4 d...so its the end of melaka tour... thumbs up to elys..u've been very stress tis few days..seeing u so stress i oso so worry...cheer up nah..luv ya...hugs...
doll n pig says bye..=p

2008-06-23T22:04:00.002+08:00

so far things been pretty gd i think..heh
gamma year so far not so hectic but definitely will be in few weeks to come..
took up the post of event leader for IB week tat will be held tis sem...
dunno whether can or not..testing my abilities to do tis..
its one big event...carry alot of marks...so hopefully will be able to do it..
Marianne my assistant...yay..heh
better pia tis sem...have to push push self..kenot be lazy d....

one the other note..
having my own room d..no more sharing wif elys..
yayness but...haha just felt like no1's dere when sleeping..
all the 20 years of sleeping wif her in the same room...lol
1st nite of sleeping alone...cant sleep dunno y...mayb not used to it...
but its cool to have own room...just no ceiling fan so have to use stand fan...not so hot so can lah.. haha...

hmm...wat else summore?? oh ya...Neelas is such a nice place to eat dere.. while eating dey on Christian song which is so nice so soothing n etc...can feel tis happy, peaceful presence in the heart..hehe...sweet...=)

signing outz....=p

2008-06-18T00:13:00.004+08:00

CF ytd was fun..hehe..
worship was nice,
ppl were great..
so many new faces,
so many names to remember..lols
but alls well..
new sem new target new er....hmm...dunno..ahha..
gamma year d...so old....feeling old d...sigh..
2 more yr den grad d...scary weyh...haha...
but neway...gambateh lah...
^_^

Father will You come,
and open up our eyes
Fill us with Your heart
Renew us with Your Life
Consume us with Your majesty
Consume us with Your majesty

2008-06-14T21:28:00.005+08:00

holidays...
hmm..wat did i do??
go out..rot at home...go out... rot at home...eat super nice good food...hhaha..n rot at home...
its sooo nice staying at home...but kena scolding alot coz lazy...haha...

went shopping wif sis, went shopping wif mum n went shopping wif family...hehe..
can say go to all the shopping malls in penang just to look for a new handbag but..sigh..~
even went to pasar malam but cant find any tat suits my taste..haha..im kinda choosey...i just wan a simple bag but im choosey on how simple is simple..lols...still looking tho...sumthing like my now bag...ahha..inform me if find nah..^_^

met Vick Teo..top 3 for Msian Idol 1st season..not so into him but elys does...but oh well...how rare do u see an artist...twice in a row on the same day at different place..haha...so just see him sing some songs n take pic here n dere n its shopping time...haha..like i said..im not into him n neither in any artist...haha..=p
Vick singing
elys taking his autograph...bought his album just to get the autograph...but his songs r kinda nice tho...lols..

hang out wif my gang one of the days...its been so long since we met up...kinda miss dem..haha..
did some catching up here n dere...tok tok n sampat oso got..hehe...sorry pics blur abit but here's sum..hehe
gwen n me
the 3 girls..
gwen, chiew n me
the gang...missing 3 ppl..heh

k..i noe i look fat in the pics...all due to dads delicious n tempting food...wahaha...have to lose some fats d...kaka...so i guess tis wraps ups my holiday...
but got one more..outing wif parents in mlk...will update bout tat later....
gd nite peeps...go sleep...
go church tomolo nah...=p

2008-06-05T08:47:00.004+08:00

...a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecc 3:5-8

There is time for everything... Just wait =)

2008-05-31T21:50:00.010+08:00

updates...will keep it short as possible..hehe..so here's just sum pics of IF camp..hehe
meet up at sfc..
my dorm...n some of my dorm mates..the punishment..haha

=)
^_^
comm for '08/'09..wish u guys all the best..=), IF comm '08, my dorm mates..luv u guys..., Asadi's..haha.., alphagoinbeta..study hard peeps...betagoingamma...study hard too n thx for the friendship..=)

k..tats all...haha...=p

things tat i thot i cud nvr have it again,
it did..n im grateful tat it did..
but still im putting my hope in God,
trusting n believing in Him..

2008-05-30T18:39:00.003+08:00

changes..
r sure to occur every now n den..
n it depends on us whether to accept it n take charge n change,
or just to let it pass n just don't bother bout it..
many will try but yet in the end fail...
but many who put their whole heart n mind in it will succeed..
there's a book tat i read which is "Who Move My Cheese" which talks bout changes in life n how we're suppose to deal wif it..
had to read it coz its for my english exam..but nevertheless its a good book...
encourage all to read it act...very short ni..1 hour can finish d..ask from me..got soft copy..ahhaa..=p

kk..neway...
changes...of coz we as human cant stay stagnant all the time..
we're suppose to grow n be a better person...
but hmm...its easier said den done..
just hopefully things will be better..
we're not in control of some things or mostly all of the things we're not in control..eventho we hope we cud control but act it will turn out the other way..
im just praying tat i'll go thru all tis as days pass n hopefully i'll still be able to put my head high..
still hoping n praying alot..
keeping my whole trust in Him...=)
seriously..i just hope everything was just a nightmare ni...
sigh...

* * *
on the other note...
IF camp was gd..
met alot of new ppl...
updates will be soon..too lazy to update n edit pics..haha
to the grads..congrats on graduating...
thx for taking care of me n my sis n the rest of us..hehe
hope tat u guys will find a good job n as u guys take another step in ur chapter of life,
cont to be strong n always remember tat He's always wif u..
God Bless..hehe..

2008-05-24T15:16:00.004+08:00

Since exam has loooong gone, the cf girls had their girls outing where we went to US pizza to makan makan fellowship...makan byk byk take foto byk byk...kenyang kenyang semua happy...kaka..
oo...marianne n elys kissing...*gasp*, jess touched marianne, marianne *gasp*..lol...
table pic..

group pic..

after makan kenyang kenyang, tiun sisters n debbie dear go kai kai...Elys cant come coz she have much more important duty to attend too...syg u lys...hehe..so on the way back to drop elys we *snap snap* a while..hehe..

so the 3 of us, debbie, reen n me went to DP n MP..go walk walk at DP 1st den we went into tis shop called Brand Outlet...woah..i tell u..the promoter very very very rude... we were happily taking pictures of ourselves n vaining wif the sunglasses dere n came tis promoter say kenot take pictures..so ok lah fine...said sorry n continue walking around still...
after a while she stand right infront of us wif a bunch of sales promoter yelling so loudly saying "pose pose pose, bukannya nak beli...takde duit nak beli pun...Berlagak!!" i was like o.O lemah siut... its not tat we dun have money to buy..please..just ur stuff dere r so not our taste...n summore its rejected clothes from other brands...n shoes like Nose turn to Nove?? pls lah..ur stuff r like so....haha...nvm...dowan say... feeling soo much to go n complain to the manager...argh...but dowan to bother...just let it pass...not gonna let a rude promoter to ruin our day..so after walking around we went out dowan care bout dem...

so walk arnd again try clothes here n dere...n i bought a shirt..haha..Rm10 at the thai fair at Dp wakaka...saw tis very beautiful promlike dress oso..soo wanna buy but its Rm110..well not like proms ne where near or nething so nvm..4get it..haha...so guess tats all for the girls outing...

mirror pictures..while waiting for reen to try out her baju at MNG..hehe
hmm....no comment..lol..

2day went to JJ n spend spend spend again..bought stuff tat i needed n not really need haha...

so my therapy session is done n im officially broke now...wahaha...=P

Romans 15:2
"Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up."

2008-05-23T00:21:00.004+08:00

yay.... im free at last... finish exam d...kaka....
not enuff sleep...slept like 2-4 hours when killer paper...
haha but its all good...hopefully...*fingers crossing* heh...

sigh...~ alot things been happening..
n slowly can see the storm is calming itself down...
parents n sis r alrite d...yay-ness...
me...er...ok i think....o.O but all's well...hehe..
but still.........i wish......n hope......^_^v

cant wait to go back Penang..good food n loving family..n air con room n heater...another yay..haha..
goin to be gamma soon...the irony of being older....swtness...lol..
must be nice d...i am nice...i guess...haha...=.="
ladedum..~ dunno wat to say d.... headache past few days..shoulder aching...aish...old liao..
guess will stop for here 1st lah...head pain d...@.@ kaka..oh look..its me..im not dead yet...wakaka....:p
trying to stay sane....>.<

날 사랑할 수 있나요
그 대 예 곈부한 나 인대 버거싶다.....
네 마우미 짜 꼬 그댈안 사람 너지 말라소 하내 요..

if only reality could turn back to dreams, so that dreams can turn back to reality.. but den...i prefer it'll stay as dreams..coz reality hurts..
i dowan to wake up to reality...let me sleep n never wake up...<3

2008-05-18T00:07:00.003+08:00

"Life is no straight and every corridor along
which we travel isn't free and unhampered,
but it is a maze of passages, through which
we must seek our way, lost and confused,
how again checked in a blind alley.

But always, if we have faith,
God will open a door for us,
Not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of,
But one that will ultimately prove good for us."- A.J. Cronin

"My times are in Your hands"
Psalms 31:15

2008-05-15T01:55:00.004+08:00

행 복 애?
나 와..

2008-05-09T17:44:00.002+08:00

safe....
is any place safe?
where one can just be their self without people judging them, or back stabbing them?
too many things that just pull the spirit down...
let it all go...let it all pass....
hopefully one day..
everything will just be back in place...
just wanna fly away....

Psalms 4:6
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit

2008-05-07T15:35:00.003+08:00

the Lame shall walk,
the Blind shall see,
the Deaf shall hear,
the Mute shall speak..

thru Him everything is possible..
tho the world shall show no compassion,
tho the world points fingers at u..
always remember tat He's still there for u..
protecting u, guiding u..
have faith, trust n believe...
keep the foundation strong..n u'll see miracles..

dad, mum, rac....i pray tat u guys will get well soon....i hope u guys wont have to suffer ne more... pls be healthy back...i love u guys.....n thank God tat dad's ok...yay...hehe

2008-05-03T11:54:00.002+08:00

finals r coming...
wat to do wat to do..
study lor...
but....how??
sigh..so many things to worry bout....
hope everything will be fine.....

pa, ma, rac, pls be alrite...i luv u guys alot...hugs n kisses...

2008-04-26T22:21:00.002+08:00

i wan a PSP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!me wan me wan...played kay lyn's fren PSP ytd so nicee..weeheeeheee..i wan!!...=p

2008-04-25T17:52:00.011+08:00

last week cg we went for a boat ride!!...
k it might sound kinda boring but i actually had fun...k dowan chatter so much so here's sum pics..before goin for a boat ride..we fill out stomach wif good n delicious food...duck me n ice kacang..too bad was sick so kenot eat ice kacang..=(

after filling our stomachs den we went for the boat which is jz next to the duck mee...have to wait 45mins b4 the boat can move coz have to wait till the boat is full...so we sampat lor..start to snap pics here n dere...hehe
here's the view..pwetty pwetty lights..very romantic...very nice rite?? next time u guys can go on a boat date lah nah at nite wif ur luv ones..weeheee~~=p

after the boat ride we went to Nadeje at Dp to eat cakeyy....
cakey, tze wy n joel order the tea...so cool oo the thingy..haha...me, esther, ju n joel sampat wif cakey..hehe..

after eat cakey every1 start to sampat..Deb cg was dere oso so we sampat 2gether..hehe..
nicest pic was tze wy n esther looking into the mirror...so wahhhhhhh...n me n elys..so long din take pic wif u d...luv u lots..hugs*

n to end the nite....wats more inportant den to give thanks to Him for tis wonderful outing n for everything He has done for us...^_^

n last but not least...me...like tis pic..haha... have a good day peeps..winkx*

2008-04-08T14:50:00.003+08:00

life's been pretty busy lately..
after mid term ends on sat its asg time..
3 asg have to be completed by tis week..
one on mon another on wed n last one on fri..
GG-ness...
nvr encounter tis b4 in uni life so...ya..stress...huuhuu

dunno y but i feel my life is so boring now adays...
aih....sien d kua of living...
but hey..im not killing myself k..
jz bored wif my life ni...
wonder wats my purpose here....
hmm..

if only i cud fly...

2008-03-31T00:11:00.002+08:00

Close to You
There's where I belong
Every word I say You wait for me

Never did I know, I've found a love thats eternity
Now I come n I bring my life

to look at Your face
to follow Your goodness
to run after Your presence
in my life

I bring You my worship
n say bout Your Greatness
to run after Your presence
in my life..

2008-03-28T09:45:00.000+08:00

dreams~..
i wish i cud sleep forever n nvr wake up...

2008-03-23T18:05:00.004+08:00

back in mlk!!...hehe..
n guess wat i brought back..
rashes on my hands n legs...
argh...very irritaationgannoyingfeelsoargh u noe...
cant sleep at nite..will suddenly wake up coz too itchy d...
u feel like scratching but u noe u cant scratch if not it will be worst..
but being the notti me, i go scratch..end up my skin peeled..haha..but din peel so much la like very little ni so nth lor..jz pain ni here n dere..haha..
hope will get better soon lah b4 exam..if not die......+.+